Carousel
by jacndaniel
Summary: It's prom night at Forks High. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan don't show up together... so how do they end up together?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This was written as my contribution to FGB: Autism Awareness. I may be persuaded to continue it, let me know what you think!

I bow at the feet of my beta **Maxipoo1024**. She sorts through my drivel and makes is acceptable for public consumption.

* * *

><p>Name: jacndaniel<p>

Title: Carousel

Fanfiction Pairing: ExB

Rated: M for language and a lemon

Drama, Romance

On and on and on we go

Just like a carousel that's lost control

And we don't know why, we don't know why

We go and go and go in circles

On and on and on we spin

To find an end where we begin

We don't know why, we don't know why

We go we go we go in circles

**Carousel ~ Paper Route**

**EPOV **

Prom—dancing, tuxes, flowers, and my girl on her knees in the bathroom stall with another dude. Fuck me. Hard.

"I'm out, Tanya. Have that fucker take you home," I yell at her before the door slams behind me.

I make it out to my dad's car without anyone stopping me to ask questions, though I can feel their stares burning holes in my back. I'm sure someone will walk in on Tanya and Tyler and It won't take long before everyone knows. _Fuck that bitch. _If she wants to be remembered as the whore that gave blow jobs in the bathroom on Prom night, that is her prerogative. I, on the other hand, do not want to be remembered for causing a scene in the parking lot of The Red Lion Hotel because my girlfriend couldn't resist sucking on Tyler's dick. _Thanks anyway, Forks fucking High._

This is definitely not how imagined this night ending. I have a room booked and everything. I lift my head from where it rests on the steering wheel and look out the window. I am parked in front of the pool. The area looks deserted, but the lighting makes it look warm and beautiful. I get out of the car, make my way through the gate, and slump down into one of the patio chairs. I take a deep breath and scrub my hands over my face. From the corner of my eye, I see a small flicker of light and notice that I am not alone. Someone is having trouble lighting their cigarette. I stand and pull a lighter out of my pocket and walk to the other side of the jacuzzi. I see a pair of shoes tossed on the ground and a purse on the table. When I'm close enough, I cup my hand around my lighter and flick it to life. Big brown eyes with black tear stains look up at me and blink. _Bella Swan. _

"Thanks, Cullen." she whispers, looking anywhere but at me.

I don't think I've said more than a few words to her since we were kids. Obviously, something is going on with her, or she wouldn't be out here crying on what is supposed to be the biggest night of our lives thus far. I start to walk away, deciding that maybe she needs her space when she kicks the chair closest to me out from under the table.

"Have a seat..." she nods towards the chair " ...I mean, if you want," she mumbles.

"Um, are you okay, Bella? Do you need me to get someone... or something?"

She chuckles almost maniacally. "Yeah, why don't you go in there and get your girlfriend's lips off of my boyfriend's dick and then drag them both out here so I can kick the shit out of them. That would be really great." She stares up at me and flicks her cigarette butt over my left shoulder.

I sit down in the chair she offered and rake my hands through my hair. "Fuck, Bella. You're still with that guy? I'm sorry, seriously."

"Don't apologize, Edward. It's not your fault. Shit. Now I feel bad. Sorry, our significant others are cheating fucktards, but hey... at least we're free in time for summer." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm as tears run down her cheeks.

I reach across the table to cover her hand with mine, and she shocks me by twining our fingers together.

"What the hell do we do now, Bella? Do you need a ride home or something?"

"Naw, I'm good. I'm not ready to go home yet. Are you leaving?" she asks.

"I'm not ready to to go home, either. I have a room here, so I'll probably just stay." I shrug.

"Oh, yeah. The stereotypical prom night hotel room stay. Although, I guess it won't be very stereotypical after all." She makes air quotes and winks at me. She looks cute as fuck until her face falls again. "I guess Tanya's staying in my room, so... I'm shit out of luck."

The air around us becomes heavy as we sit in silence, though it's not uncomfortable. She kicks her bare feet up on the empty chair next to her and closes her eyes. I stare at her while I can and notice the changes in her since the last time I was this close to her. We used to be friends as kids. _I taught her how to ride a skateboard and she taught me how to bake cookies._ Thinking back on all the times we ran through the sprinklers and shared Popsicles, makes my heart melt. I hate to see her hurting, even if we are not as close as we once were.

Growing up, our group of friends consisted of the kids that lived on our street. That means my sister Alice, my brother Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Tyler Crowley, Bella, and myself. We just roamed our neighborhood together, going from house to house depending on what activity had our attention for the day. The Hale's had all the cool video games, we had the theater room with every movie imaginable, Bella had the covered patio with the air hockey table and the dart board, and Tyler had the mom that fed us. We were inseparable. Then when Bella, Tyler and I started 8th grade, there was a new student at Forks Middle School.

"Fucking Tanya." I say as I slam my hand on the table and Bella's eyes go wide. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It just dawned on me that Tanya is who changed everything between us. She split up the group. Bitch."

"Shut up, E. You fell in love with her the moment you laid eyes on her. That's not her fault, Man, that was all you. She made you choose between us and her. You chose wrong." Her sweet smile contradicts the sadness in her voice, as she squeezes my fingers.

"It's starting to look that way, isn't it , Bells?" Using my nickname for her makes her smile. She is fucking beautiful. My Bella grew up.

"No one has called me that in a really long time. It's nice talking to you again, Edward." Her eyes find mine and her sincerity makes my heart ache. "I missed you, Cullen."

"It's getting late, Bella. I can't leave you out here all night. Do you want to come back inside with me?"

She lifts and eyebrow and leans forward to look me in the eyes. "Are you asking me to the prom, Edward?" she asks.

"Yeah, I guess I am." I smirk at her. "I never did get my picture taken. My mom's going to kill me." I stand and look down at our still joined hands.

"Well in that case..." Her voice trails off as she stands. " I wouldn't want to upset Esme."

The fact that she agrees to go back inside with me makes me happier than it probably should. Bella steps into her shoes and grabs her purse, never letting go of my hand.

"I need to stop in the restroom before we go back in. I must look like a hot mess." She giggles and it's the sweetest sound I've heard all night.

"Shut the fuck up, Swan, you look beautiful." She hits me in the ribs with her elbow as I lead her back to the hotel entrance.

We find a bathroom, and I wait outside the door. When Bella comes out, her face is almost completely make up free. She has sparkly eyelids and pink shiny lips. Her dress is short and black, not long and flowing like the other girls, and her hair is down and looks soft; not piled high on her head like everyone else I've seen. Bella is definitely one of a kind. _Tyler is a fucking idiot. _I offer her my arm, and she slides her hand into the crook of my elbow. She looks up at me and her anxiety is written all over her face.

"How do I look?"

"Perfect." I smile at her in an attempt to ease her fears." How do I look?"

"Scared shitless," she whispers. "Now let's get this over with before we both change our minds."

_I'm going to the prom with Bella Swan._

It's a damn cold night

Tryin' to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I'm with you.

**I'm With You ~ Avril Lavigne**

The music is loud and the room seems to be pulsating when we walk in. No one notices us, and we walk into the room where a photographer has his equipment set up. I approach the table and fill out the required form.

_Names: Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan. _

The photographer makes a note on the paper I hand him and tells us where to stand. The instructions he gives us would make for a pose that is a little to intimate for old friends that haven't spoken in almost four years. Instead, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into my side. In true Bella fashion, she puts her hand on her hip. There is a flash of light and I have officially just taken my senior prom picture with Bella. _My mom is going to be fucking ecstatic. _

We make our way to the door, and I stop to prepare my self. I'm sure that by now people know about Tanya and Tyler's little bathroom stall romance. I don't want to answer any questions and I'm sure Bella doesn't want to see them together, so I'm a little scared.

"We don't have to this, Edward. If it's too weird or if you'll be embarrassed by people seeing you with me, we don't have to go in," she says without making eye contact.

"I don't want all these fuckers in my business, but I'm definitely not embarrassed to be seen with you. Let's rock this shit out, Bells." I wink at her before we walk into the ball room.

Just as I suspect, people stop and stare as we walk toward the dance floor together. It annoys me, but at the same time I'm happy to show them that Tanya didn't break me. I'm not running away. In fact, I am going to wrap my arms around Bella and not think about Tanya anymore tonight. Bella seems to hesitate for a second just as we join the crowd under the cheesy disco ball.

"I'm with you, Bella," I whisper into her hair, and I feel her relax at my side. Her arms go around my shoulders and mine wind around her waist. She melts into me as we sway to the loud music. It feels strange at first, but after awhile it just feels right. People are still staring and some are whispering, but all I care about in this moment is the girl in my arms. I have always felt protective of her and those feelings are back in full force.

"Are you okay, B?"

"I'm fine, Edward. Thank you for doing this."

I rub her back and smile down at her, not wanting to scream in her ear if I don't have to. Just as we fall into a rhythm together, the music changes and a pounding hip hop mess pours from the speakers. Bella shocks the shit out of me when she turns her back to me, pulls my arms tight around her waist and grinds her ass on me. I know she's putting on a show, I just don't know who it's for. One of her hands reaches up and winds into the hair at the back of my neck. I turn my face to give her more room and that's when I see Tanya staring at us from the table we ate at earlier. I get close to Bella's ear before I speak.

"We have an audience, Bells. Care to play along?" She turns her head towards me and she nods.

I spin Bella around until she is facing me and pull her into me hard. I squeeze her hips and grind against her as her fingers find my hair again. The song blends into another, and I hold her tighter. Her eyes never leave mine. Before I can stop her, she leans forward and presses her lips to mine. _Bella is kissing me. Like really kissing me. What crazy fucking universe is this?_ She tastes like cigarettes and cupcakes. Her lips are soft and sticky from her lip gloss. We're not dancing anymore. We're just kind of making out and swaying back and forth. She smiles against my lips and breaks the kiss.

"Uh, Bella, not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

"They were staring," she says and nods her head toward the table where I know Tanya is sitting.

I look over at the table, still holding Bella's hips. Tanya is standing with a group of her friends staring, and Tyler has his head down on the table. I didn't even know he was still here. _Was that kiss just an act? It felt real to me. Damn, she's good. _As the music switches to something slow, I look back at Bella and she smiles before tucking her head under my chin. We stay that way until the music stops abruptly and the lights are turned on. I look around and blink rapidly as my eyes adjust. The crowd has thinned out, most of the remaining people are couples lost in each other.

Angela and Ben make their way off of the dance floor and approach Bella and I with strange expressions on their faces.

"So... what's going on you two?" Angela asks with a smile.

Bella laughs before she answers, "We were both left dateless, Ang, and prom is a rite of passage. I didn't want Edward to miss it." She pats my chest and Angela's eyes go wide.

"Well, isn't that thoughtful of you," Ben says with a smirk.

"Yeah, so thoughtful," Angela adds.

Angela steps closer to Bella and asks about what happened with Tyler. Ben turns away from them and claps his hand on my shoulder.

"There's a small gathering on the 2nd floor, if you guys want to hang out for awhile."

I glance over my shoulder at Bella. "Yeah, I have a room up there. I don't think Bella has a ride home, since Tyler fucked up earlier, maybe she'll want to crash with me. I'll have to ask her."

Ben stares at me like I'm crazy, and I know he has a million questions that he want to ask, so I save him the time.

"It's not what you think, man. I found her crying out by the pool earlier. I offered to take her home, but she didn't want to leave. We didn't want to let Tanya and Tyler ruin our night, so we danced. No big deal."

Ben holds his hands up in surrender. "I believe you, man. Maybe I'll see you later." He puts his arm around Angela's shoulder and leans over to kiss Bella's cheek before they walk away.

Bella and I are some of the last people left in the ballroom. I'm not ready for the night to be over, but I'm not sure what is supposed to happen next. I'm having fun with her. It's just like it was when we were young. _I always felt happy and content when we were together._ Bella is light and peace; she is my happy place. _I had no idea I missed her as much as I do._ I hold out my hand to her as a small test. She takes it.

"So, what do you want to do now, Bells?" I ask, swinging our hands between us.

"Well, Ang invited us up to their little after party upstairs. I know you have a room up there, so I was thinking that if you didn't mind, maybe I could just crash with you." She smiles up at me and squeezes my fingers.

I stop and turn her to face me. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Edward, when I flirt with you, you'll know it. I promise." Bella takes advantage of the fact that she shocked me a little bit with her statement and drags me along behind her toward the elevators.

I usher her into the elevator with my hand on the small of her back. Once inside, she leans over and whispers in my ear, "Now I'm flirting with you." Then she fucking kisses me again. _I'm dead._

Every word you say I think, I should write down

I don't want to forget come daylight

And no need to worry

That's wastin time

And no need to wonder

What's been on my mind

It's you

**Paperweight ~ Josh Radin **

**ft. Schuyler Fisk**

**BPOV**

I don't know what the hell possesses me to do it, but I'm kissing Edward. Again. His lips are soft and his movements are careful, but it feels so good. I grab him by the lapel of his jacket and pull him to me. He doesn't fight me, and I smile against his lips. The doors open and music floats in from the hallway.

Edward pulls away and leans his forehead on mine. "Let's get out of here."

He takes my hand and pulls me out of the elevator behind him. The hallway is full of our class mates, dancing and kissing. There are beers being passed around, and someone has a game of Twister laid out on the floor_. _We walk almost to the end of the hall before Edward stops and pulls a key card out of his pocket. He holds the door open so I can go before him. The room is nice. There is a huge king size bed, a sofa, and a beautiful view of Hollywood Beach. Edward hasn't moved since we walked in, and I can feel him watching me. I walk over to the bed and sit on it.

"So, what's the plan, E?" I smile up at him.

"Well, I was thinking we could go out and grab a beer. Unless you want to kiss on me some more." He winks at me.

I cover my eyes and flop backwards on the bed. "I'm sorry! I just couldn't help myself! You are just too much sexy for one elevator. Do you blame me?" I bat my lashes at him.

Edward falls on the bed next to me and throws his arm around my waist. "I don't blame you at all. If I were you I'd be kissing all over me, too." He laughs.

"Let's go get a beer, Edward. I think we've both earned one at this point." I grab his hand and pull him off the bed.

Once we get out of the room, I go in search of refreshments, and Edward goes to his car to get his over night bag.

I find Ben and Angela and procure some drinks for myself and Edward. Angela and I are sitting on the floor with our backs against the wall, and I can tell that she can barely contain the questions that she wants to ask. I decide to show her some mercy.

"Okay, Ang. If you're going to ask me whatever it is that has your head about to pop the fuck off, you better do it before Edward gets back up here," I say without looking at her.

"Oh my goodness, B! What the heck is going on with you and Edward? You kissed him! I saw you! He's seriously hot, but I had no idea you were interested in him like that. When did this happen?" Fucking Angela isn't even breathing at this point. I have to shout in her face to get her shut up.

"ANGELA! Calm the hell down. Seriously, you're going to hyper ventilate. I wasn't interested in him like that, or at least I haven't been since we were kids, and the kissing was to show Tanya and Tyler that they aren't the only ones that can stray. It was... um, fun. And yes, he's super effing hot." I smirk at her.

Edward walks up and when I look forward I am staring at his knees. "Who's super effing hot, Bella? I mean besides you," he says and I swear I can hear his smirk.

I let my eyes travel up the length of his body slowly so he knows that I checking him out. "You, Edward. You are super effing hot. Am I lying?" I toss him a beer.

Angela stands up and says goodbye as Edward slides down the wall to take her place beside me. He opens his beer and hands it to me and then takes mine for himself. _When did Edward Cullen become a gentleman? _We drink in silence, watching everyone around us acting like kids. Since is the last event before we graduate, it's kind of ironic. We laugh at Mike and Jessica fighting over the game of Twister, and we watch as Ben and Angela quietly shut the door to their room. Edward smiles down at me, and I lay my head on his shoulder. We get the occasional questioning look, but no one asks us anything.

Once Edward finishes his drink he gets up and walks away. I don't follow him this time, but when he doesn't return I decide to go see what he's up to. Maybe he went to bed, or maybe he went to find Tanya... or someone else. _Why does that idea scare me? Oh yeah, because I am crushing on him. Hard. _I find Edward sitting on the floor of his room with another beer and his guitar. He smiles at me but doesn't stop playing.

"I brought it because Tanya always liked it. I had much different plans for this night." He wiggles hie eyebrows jokingly.

"I did too. Although, I must say that this doesn't suck." I refer the space between us. "If I have to rework my prom night, I'm glad that it's you that got thrown into the mix." I move to the bed and lay down on my stomach so I can watch him. He starts to play a new song, and I recognize it right away. It's "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas, and I know that from now on it will remind me of this moment. He doesn't sing the words, so when he gets to the chorus I start to sing.

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down_

_Fall on me_

_Tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you forever in me_

_Ever the same._

He doesn't look at me, but I can see the smile that lights up his face so I keep singing. _I've loved this song since the first time I heard it._ The fact that he chooses to play it now, makes it even more special. The lyrics are beautiful and before I can stop myself, I am crying. I sing through the sobs, and he starts to sing along. His voice is beautiful, and I never want him to stop, but eventually the song ends and Edward sets his guitar back in it's case. In one quick move, he is off of the floor and I am in his arms. His kiss is different than before. It's needy and fast. I move to straddle his lap, and Edward pulls me tight against his chest. My hands automatically reach for his hair, as his thumbs wipe the tears from my cheeks. I can't believe this is happening, but it is. My tongue peeks out and touches his bottom lip. He hums in approval and grants me entrance to his mouth. Our tongues fight for control of the kiss and eventually I let him win. I want him to dominate this kiss, and I want him to take control. I want the complete Edward Cullen experience. I feel Edward's fingers moving down my back. When the cool air hits me, I realize that he is unzipping my dress.

_Holy shit, Edward is taking my clothes off. _

"Did you just unzip my dress, E?" I giggle and drop my head onto his shoulder.

"I totally just unzipped your dress, Bella." He kisses my shoulder and pushes the single strap of the dress down my arm.

I'm topless, sitting on Edward's lap, and I can't bring myself to feel embarrassed. I can't feel anything but need. I need him to touch me. I need him to want me. Edward moves my hands to his chest, and I start to unbutton his shirt. I kiss his chest as the buttons fall open. When I reach the last one, I push the shirt off of his shoulders. I let my fingers ghost over his chest, softly tangling with the reddish hair there. I hear him sigh and it makes me smile.

"You're beautiful, Edward," I whisper.

"Beautiful? Bella, I'm definitely not the beautiful one in this situation. You clearly haven't seen yourself from this angle." He kisses the sensitive spot behind my ear and his thumbs brush against my bare nipples. "Stand up," he whispers.

I do as he says and stand up in front of him. My dress is pushed down to my waist, but it still rests on my hips. Edward remedies the situation by pushing it down my legs and waits for me to step out of it. Once I kick my dress to the side, I am standing in front of him in only a pair of black lace boy shorts. His eyes are level with my bare chest, and I shiver as he kisses the valley between my breasts.

"Bella, are we doing this?" he whispers against my skin.

"All signs point to yes, Edward. Do you want to?" I run my fingers through his hair and I swear he purrs.

Instead of answering me, he stands up and pushes me back onto the bed. I watch as he pulls his shirt from where it is tucked into his pants, and then he takes off his pants and shoes with the speed of a teenage boy about to get laid. I giggle up at him as he finally comes to rest on top of me.

"You got any prophylactics in that bag of tricks, Eddie? Or does one of us need to go get one from someone out there." I ask, pointing to the door.

"It's prom night, Bella, I've got it covered."

I pull him down and kiss him hard. _Thank God!_ Kissing Edward is my 12 year old self's dream come true. I can't decide where to touch him first. I run my fingertips up his back into his hair and wrap my legs around his waist. This has to be what heaven feels like. Okay, maybe not heaven, but it feels really, really good. I push him over so we are facing each other, and he smiles at me as he pulls my leg up and over his hip.

"Bella, if you are having any doubts about being here with me, now would be a good time to say so," he says while he runs his fingers up my side, leaving goosebumps on my skin.

I throw my head back and laugh loudly. "Edward, I'm basically naked, and grinding against your thigh. I think it's safe to say that I am exactly where I want to be. Now go get a condom, and rock my world!" I push him away.

Edward gets off the bed, and I finally have time to admit to myself that I am really nervous. I mean, I'm definitely not a virgin, but that doesn't mean that I'm experienced. At all. _I never actually enjoyed sex with Tyler, so I didn't let him do it all that often. We got each other off, a lot, but there just wasn't a whole lot of actual intercourse. He was great with his, um... tongue, and I must be the hand job queen by now, but I'm definitely not a sex expert. Yup, I am so nervous._ Edward is gorgeous and Tanya is a whore, so I'm sure that he's done things that I haven't even thought of yet. _Hopefully I don't bore the poor guy to death. _I feel Edward before I see him and look up to find him with a worried look on his face.

"You okay, B? You look scared and it's freaking me out a little bit." He is adorable when he is flustered with a condom in his hand.

I can't speak because I know that my voice will give my anxiety away. Instead I sit up and run my fingertips down his chest. When I reach the waistband of his blue boxer briefs, I slide my thumbs in the elastic and push them down. He kicks them off, and I pull him towards me on the bed, holding my hand out for the condom. I lean forward and lick him from base to tip, as I rip the foil packet open. I hear him hiss when I kiss the tip and it makes me smile. I scoot back further on the bed and stare at him. _It must be said that Edward Cullen looks magnificent naked._ He reaches for my panties and pulls them slowly down my legs. He kisses my naval and lets his fingers find my center. I let out a porn star moan that surprises even me.

"Don't stop, Edward," I whisper against his neck. He doesn't and sooner than I want to, I am falling over the edge. His kisses are soft and slow and I wonder how I got so lucky.

"Sit up, Edward," I say, holding the condom up so he can see it. "It's time."

Edward sits very still as I roll the condom onto him with unsteady fingers. _Please don't let me fuck this up. _ _Can I fuck this up? _

"Edward, I'm nervous. I mean, I want you. I really, really want you, but I'm not sure that I'm very good at this whole sex thing." I actually take my hand off of his cock to make air quotes.

Edward uses his knee to make room for himself between my legs. He carefully holds most of his weight on his forearms and cradles my face in his hands.

"That's not even possible. You are fucking gorgeous and just laying here with you like this is blowing my mind. I'm no expert, but I'm sure we can figure it out." He kisses my nose and my chin. "Let me make you feel good."

All I can do is nod. I want this so much and him looking at me like I hang the moon is making it easier to imagine. I close my eyes and breathe him in. He reaches for my calf and brings it to rest against his side as he slides into me. _Holy fuck, I'm having sex with Edward Cullen. _I will definitely do a happy dance about this later.

My hips raise up to meet him as he pushes in as far as my body will allow and whispers in my ear, "Fuck, Bella. You have no idea how good you feel. Where have you been all my life?" He kisses the earlobe.

"Here, E, I've been right here." I breathe against his neck.

This doesn't make sense. I'm sure that there has been some kind of miscommunication somewhere in God's chain of command. There is no way that Edward is supposed to be here with me, yet he is everywhere. I see him, I feel him, I hear him, and I can taste him. There are no more words, just breaths and sighs, moans and touches that only make sense to us.

_This can't be real. Things like this just don't happen to me. _I don't realize that I've spoken out loud until Edward answers me.

"Touch me, Bella." He smiles down at me. "It's real, touch me."

And I do. I touch him anywhere I can reach. My fingernails scratch lightly up his back and down his arms. I feel his muscles flex under my fingers. I can feel the pressure I crave building low in my belly and my hand sneaks between us to provide the friction that I'm not getting. When Edward notices what I'm trying to do, he knocks my hand out of the way and replaces it with his own. I gasp at the contact and try to relax. Just when it starts to feel like it's all too much, I fall. Hard. My whole body shakes and my muscles contract around him pulling him over the edge with me. He collapses on top of me and his head comes to rest in the crook of my neck. I feel his warm breath fan out over my chest, and I smile.

Somehow, it doesn't feel weird to have Edward wrapped around me in bed. It actually feels nice as I run my fingers through his hair and he draws patterns up my side. Eventually we have to get up to take a shower and that doesn't feel weird either. _I mean it's not like we haven't already seen each other naked._ The weirdness comes when I realize that I have no clean clothes to wear and I can't sleep in my dress, so I have to ask Edward Cullen if I can borrow his underwear. He laughs at me, and lends me his under shirt and a pair of boxers from his magic bag. The pajama pants that he pulls out for himself are green and hang deliciously low around his hip bones. He catches me staring and quirks an eyebrow at me.

"See something you like, B?"

I giggle at him, and then move to turn down the bed. "Maybe, but I'm too tired to show you how much."

I turn off the lights and crawl under the covers. I stare at the ceiling and wait to see if Edward is going to join me. He does, and I smile to myself. I feel him scoot to the center of the bed, and I move to close the distance between us. He wraps his arm around me as I snuggle into his side.

"What happens now, Edward?" I ask, my words sound loud in the darkness.

"Well, I guess anything can happen. I'd really like it if whatever this is..." he moves his hand to indicate the space between us "...doesn't end when the sun comes up. I like being with you Bella and I want to spend more time together, if you want to." He squeezes me and I feel him kiss the top of my head.

"I think I'd like that. Good night, Edward. Thanks for rescuing me, tonight." I yawn.

"You don't have to thank me, Bella, you saved me from the wrath of Esme. She would have flipped her shit if I came home without a picture. I should be thanking you. Sleep well, Beautiful."

Maybe we're too young

And I don't even know whats real

But I Know I've never

Wanted anything so bad

I've never wanted anyone so bad

If I let you love me

Be the one adored

Would you go all the way?

Be the one I'm looking for

**Adore ~ Paramore**

**EPOV**

Sunday morning I wake up in an unfamiliar bed and look down to see a head of dark brown hair resting on my chest. I try not to move because I'm scared of what's going to happen once she wakes up and the spell is broken. _Last night was perfect, it was as if Bella and I were always meant to end up dancing at our senior prom._ That thought is blowing my fucking mind. _I think I want to be with Bella. How crazy is that? _She says that she wants to try spending time together, and I really hope that she means it. I feel her start to stir and it makes me smile. She rubs my chest and then looks up at me. I see the moment that her memories of last night come back to her. She puts a hand over her mouth and then scoots up and kisses me with her hand still in place over her mouth. _How fucking cute is she._

"Um... morning breath," she says when I laugh at her.

I grab her face between my hands and kiss her firmly on the mouth. "You've been breathing all over me all night, B. One little kiss isn't going to make a difference."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth she gasps and jumps up out of bed. She rummages through my bag and then goes into the bathroom with my toothbrush in her hand. "Bella! Don't you dare use my toothbrush!" I yell after she shuts the door. She peeks her head out of the door and winks at me before she shuts it again. A few minutes later she steps back out of the bathroom and gets a running start before she jumps on the bed.

"Did you really not want me to use your toothbrush? Because I did. I mean, seriously Edward, you cleaned my teeth with your tongue last night. Sharing a toothbrush isn't all that bad. You can throw it away if you want, but use it first." She kisses my nose and pinches my cheeks.

After stepping over more than a few of our classmates in the hallway, we check out of our hotel room. It looks like everyone had a great time, but I'm willing to bet that I'd win the "who had a better night" contest, hands down.

Bella and I stop for breakfast at the diner before I take her home, and we weren't the only ones who had that idea. We walk in and see that a crowd of hungover students have gathered here for coffee and greasy diner food. A few people lift their heads from the table long enough to greet us, but the majority do not. I lead the way to a booth in the back corner. I let her sit down first and then sit down next to her. I suppose this is the time that we should talk about what happened last night but it doesn't feel necessary. Instead, we eat and laugh at the sour faces around us. It seems like we are the only ones who didn't drink our weight in beer last night. That kind of makes the night even more special. It wasn't a drunken hook up.

I stop in front of Bella's house, and we stare at each other for a few minutes before I get out of the car and walk around to open her door. She gets out still wearing my underwear, with her dress and shoes in her hand, and I am suddenly terrified of her dad seeing us this way. She drags me forward on to her porch and kisses me before she opens the door. The next thing I know, she walks inside and shuts the door behind her, effectively ending our night.

I drive down our block to my house and cannot believe what is waiting for me on my porch. My mom is sitting on my porch swing... with Tanya. I get out of my car, and they both stand up to greet me.

"Hey mom, what's going on?" I ask her, but I look at Tanya.

"Good morning, son. Tanya came over to talk to you, and I was just keeping her company until you got home." She smiles at me, but I can tell that she is confused. My mom hates Tanya, and I'm sure that sitting here with her is not her idea of a good morning.

"Well, I don't really have anything to say to Tanya, mom. Did she tell you why we didn't spend our prom night together?" I look between them trying to figure out if Tanya made up some story to explain why she is here without me.

Tanya stands up and starts to talk fast. "Um, I didn't tell her anything, Edward. We are just talking about the dance and graduation." She gives me a weak smile, begging me with her eyes to not tell my mom her secret. Too bad for her, I'm really pissed off at her right now.

"Oh please, let me tell the story!" I smile sarcastically at her. "Last night, about an hour after we arrived at the hotel, Tanya disappeared. I went looking for her and when I found her, she was in the men's bathroom with Tyler. She was showing him a really good time. I'm sure if you use your imagination you can figure out the rest."

Tanya starts to cry and my mom gasps loudly, looking back and forth between me and Tanya. I'm sure that wasn't the story that she was expecting to hear. "Tanya! What were you thinking? I think it's time for you to leave."

I don't have anything left to say so I walk passed them and go inside. Surprisingly, my mom comes in right behind me and slams the front door. I barely make it to the top of the stairs before my mom calls my name to stop me. I can tell that she wants to comfort me but the subject matter isn't exactly comfortable conversation.

"Edward? Where have you been all night? Who have you been with?"

I turn around to look at her, and I can't stop the smile that lights up my face when I answer her.

"Don't worry Mom, I went and I got my picture taken, it just wasn't with Tanya." She is getting frustrated with my non answer.

"I understand that, Edward, and that makes me really happy. But you didn't answer my question. Who where you with?" she asks again.

I can't hold back my laughter when she stomps her foot at me. Her hands are on her hips, and I decide to have mercy on her. I walk down the stairs and I hug her.

"Calm down mom. I was with Bella, and we had a really good time. She's amazing. You might just be seeing more of her around here." Her face lights up, and I run up the stairs before she can ask me any more questions. I'm sure she'll be on the phone with Bella's mom before I even close my bedroom door.

I lay down on my bed, take my phone out of my pocket and send Bella a text.

_I'll pick you up for school in the morning. Will you be ready by 7:15?_

It only takes a few minutes for her to answer me, and I smile as I read it.

_Sure thing hot stuff. Oh, and great job telling Esme. My mom is downstairs planning our wedding right now. Bring coffee. I'll feed you._

I think I love Bella Swan.


	2. 1,2,3,4 I Love You

**A/N: **I've decided to continue this story. It will not have an update schedule, and most chapters will be considerably shorter than the first one. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. Your words mean so much to me.

Big hugs to my friend and beta **Maxipoo. **Please do yourself a favor and read all of her stuff, she really is a genius :) Also I need to thank **Jaime Arkin. **She is so supportive of everything that I do, and always there when I need a pep talk. Thanks, j! You know I adore you 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns all the Twi shizz... I just write fanfiction.**

* * *

><p><em>Give me more loving from the very start<em>

_Piece me back together when I fall apart_

_Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends_

_Make it feel good when it hurts so bad_

_The best that I've had and I'm so glad I found you_

_I love being around you... you make it easy_

_It's as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4_

_There's only ONE thing TWO do _

_THREE words FOUR you... _

_I love you_

_**1,2,3,4 ~ Plain White T's**_

**EPOV:**

Driving up to Bella's house the next morning, my heart is beating fast. I'm not nervous, just excited to see her. I think I actually miss her. We talk for a few minutes last night to finalize our plans for this morning. She is scared of what Tanya and Ben might have to say about us showing up at school together. I tell her that it doesn't matter what they have to say. Their input stopped mattering when they ended up in the bathroom exchanging bodily fluids. _Fuck them. _Seriously, why would they get to have an opinion? Did Tanya ask me my opinion before she sucked _Tyler's dick? _

I park on the street in front of Bella's house and take a deep breath before I make my way up to her door. My mom has sent some blueberry muffins, and I'm sure that Renee is in there cooking up a storm, just waiting to ask a shit load of questions. I can only imagine what she wants to know. Before I have a chance to knock, the door opens and I am staring at the smirking face of Chief Swan.

"Good morning, Chief," I say, trying not to sound to nervous.

"Good morning to you too, Edward." He chuckles. "Boy do I feel sorry for you. The ladies have been in there yapping all morning. I've learned that you are adorable and so smart." He mimics what I assume s supposed to be a female voice. "I need to have a chat with you before you go in there. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Did I do something wrong, sir?" I'm really nervous now.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Edward. You can calm down. What I want to talk to you about is what ever is going on between you and Bella. She says that you took care of her after the prom when that Crowley boy left her to fend for herself. I want to thank you for that, son."

"You're welcome, sir. I just wish I could have done something to prevent it from happening in the first place."

"How could you have stopped anything? She said that she caught Tyler with another girl," he asks, looking sufficiently confused.

"She did. My girlfriend, Tanya. She's the one that Bella caught with Tyler."

The Chief throws his head back and laughs loudly."Well aren't you two a sad pair! Get your ass in here and have some breakfast. You're going to be late for school."

I walk into the Swan kitchen and I am taken back to my childhood. I can picture Bella's mom standing at the back door handing us Popsicles. When Bella spots me her face lights up.

"Edward! Good morning! How are you?" she asks, walking towards me.

"I'm good, Bells," I say, pulling her into a hug that I hope doesn't offend her father. He doesn't look up, so I place a soft kiss on her forehead before releasing her.

"Don't push your luck, boy."

"No, sir."

"Charlie, leave them alone. You remember what is was like to be young, don't you? When we were their age we were doing much more than eating breakfast together." She winks at me.

"I know, Renee. Don't give them any ideas." He looks straight at Bella. "No kissing in the kitchen. The kitchen is neutral territory. Consider it Switzerland, and I am the king of Switzerland, Bella. No kissing in my land."

Then he looks at me. "Got it?"

"Yes, sir," we say in unison.

~_C~_

After an amazing breakfast and a million questions from Renee, Bella and I finally excuse ourselves so we can make it to school on time. I walk her out to the car and open the door for her, closing it behind her. I cleaned my truck out this morning, and I must say that it looks pretty good. I see Bella's dad watching us as I get in and put on my seat belt. As soon as it's on, I see him step back from the window. _He is chief of police after all._

"Are you ready for this, Bells?" I ask, not taking my eyes off of the road. "It may not be fun."

"I'm ready, Edward. How bad could it be?" As soon as the words are out of her mouth I look over at her and we both burst into laughter.

"Yeah, it's probably going to be that bad," I say.

I pull into the school parking lot and head to my usual spot. I see people staring as they always do but with Bella in the passenger seat, they have something to talk about. I watch as they point and whisper, and I know that it won't take long at all for Tyler and Tanya to hear about this, not that I care.

Once I park, I turn to face Bella and try to judge her emotion. "I'm going to get out and then go around to open your door. Don't get out before that, okay?"

"Why, Edward, are you trying to charm me?" she asks with a smirk that is remarkably similar to my own.

"Maybe. Is it working?" I lean forward so my nose is almost touching hers.

Her hand reaches out for my shirt and she uses it to pull me closer. Before I know it she is kissing me. It's soft and slow and I feel it deep down in my soul. Her tongue sneaks out and traces my bottom lip, and I can't stop the moan that escapes.

I pull back and rest my forehead against hers. "Damn, Swan. What was that for?"

"Nothing. I'm just trying to charm you, Cullen. Is it working?"

I slump back into my seat and stare at her. I take her hand in mine, and rub my thumb across her knuckles before I answer. "Yeah, it's working."

When I finally get out and walk around to Bella's door, I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I assume that everyone has already heard what happened at the Prom and some of them saw Bella and I together at the diner the morning after. I'm sure that even with all that has happened, not many expected that we'd show up together today. I help her down from my truck and after closing and locking the door, I throw my arm around her shoulders and head towards the front of the building.

"Everyone is staring at us, Edward," she whispers

"Good, let them stare. I hope they get the hint." I kiss her temple. "You're mine now."

"Is that right?" She stops just before reaching the door and pulls me around so I'm facing her.

I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her hard. "That's right," I say when we come up for air.

When we start walking I feel her hand slip into my back pocket and it makes me smile. I glance down at her out of the corner of my eyes and I see that she is smiling, too. "You're killing me here, Bella."

"I know." She giggles and I fucking melt. This day may not be so bad after all.

_~C~_

By the time lunch rolls around the entire school is buzzing with the news of Bella and I kissing all over campus. And believe me, we kiss every single chance we get. I am faced with the scowls of Tanya and all of her minions. This is in stark contrast to the way that Tyler cowers away from me when I pass him in the halls. I would have expected him to put up some kind of fight, but I am met with no resistance at all. This both amuses me and upsets me. Bella deserves to be fought over, and I'm more than willing to do it.

Bella also deserves to have her moment of revenge against my bitch ex, and I give her that in the cafeteria in front of the entire student body. We go through the line with our arms around each other, stealing kisses and giggling. I buy one bottle of lemonade and grab two straws before leading her to an empty table. I sit down and reach out to pull her into my lap. Everyone knows that I never eat cafeteria food but for some reason when I set my lunch bag in Bella's lap, she seems surprised.

"You brought lunch? Should I go buy something for my self?" She looks and sounds unsure so I nuzzle her neck.

"I brought lunch for the both of us, baby. My mom made it for us."

"Esme packed me a lunch?" She bounces a little with excitement and starts to unpack it.

I grab her hips to hold her still and she quirks an eyebrow at me. "You can't bounce on me like that, Bells. Or we'll never get to eat before I toss you over my shoulder and carry you out of here."

"Sorry, Edward," she teases, grinding her ass on me as she continues to pull stuff from the bag.

"Aww... look, babe. She wrote us a note. And she made us stars!" she exclaims, holding up a napkin in one hand and a baggy full of star shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the other. They were always Bella's favorite when we were kids. I take the note form her hand and read it out loud.

_Edward and Isabella,_

_I hope you're having a great day. Give them hell._

_Love, _

_Mom_

We both laugh and proceed to feed each other. This is apparently too much for Tanya, who slams her tray into the trash can and stomps out of the cafeteria. We laugh as Jessica and Lauren chase after her. Tyler starts to walk towards us, and I prepare myself for a fight. I see Ben and Mike ready themselves to step in if they are needed.

"Don't you think this makes you just as bad as me?" he asks Bella and it takes everything in me not to break his jaw. I wait to see if I am going to have to defend my girl, but she is totally capable of handling herself.

"No way, asshole. I waited until we were broken up to suck Edward's dick. I'm no cheater, bro," she answers, and I nearly spit my lemonade out on her. I laugh so hard that I start to choke and Bella pats my back trying to help me catch my breath.

"Oh my God, Bella! Did you see his face? He looked like he was going to cry!" Angela laughs as she and Ben walk up to us.

"Yeah, that was pretty brutal. He totally deserved it," Ben adds, stepping forward to shake my hand.

"So you guys look cozy," Angela says.

"We are, Ang. Very, very cozy." Bella pulls my arm tight around her waist. "Some of it was for show, but I wouldn't mind eating lunch like this for the rest of my life."

"On that note, we're out of here." Ben drags Angela towards the door. "See you guys in biology!" she calls over her shoulder.

"I like your friends, Bella," I say after they leave.

"I'm glad, because if you're going to be around me then you are definitely going to be around them." She stands and I groan at the loss of her weight in my lap.

We throw our trash away and make our way to the science building. This class is going to be fun. Tyler shares a table with Bella and Tanya shares my table. I don't have any idea how we are going to make it through the hour with our sanity.

When we walk through the door it seems that the problem has been solved for us. Tanya and Tyler are sitting at my table and Mr. Banner calls us over to his desk.

"Edward, Bella... Tyler has informed me that it will no longer be conducive to a good learning environment for he and Bella to be lab partners. I hope it is okay that I moved him up into your seat, Edward. You two will be partners for the remainder of the year. Please be aware that this is the only time that I will allow seats to be swapped."

"Yes, Mr. Banner," we answer in unison for the second time today.

I find it hard to believe that Tyler Crowley knows the meaning of the word conducive, let alone using it in a sentence. Never the less, I am pleased that I didn't have to have my parents pull strings to get my seat changed. It gets embarrassing, but I was willing to do it to make this class easier on my girl.

The hour passes quickly and before I know it, I have to leave her and head to P.E. I'm not looking forward to the questions that I am sure to encounter once I'm in the locker room. People are definitely curious and once they are in the man cave, they will have no problem voicing their opinions. With Tyler and I both there, one of us is bound to be uncomfortable and it sure as hell won't be me.

Bella and I walk to the gym hand in hand and as she reaches for the door leading to the girls locker room, I get an idea. "Hey, Bella? Wanna skip this shit? Let's get out of here."

"I thought you'd never ask! I am so not looking forward to the bitch-fest that is bound to take place in the hen house today." She sighs in relief.

"Why didn't you say something, baby?" I pull her to me so that I can look in her eyes.

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, Edward. Girls can be fucking brutal! "

"Did you just say _fucking_, Bella?"

"Yeah, why?" She looks confused.

I lean forward and catch her off guard as I throw her over my shoulder and start walking towards the parking lot. "I warned you, Bells. You're too damn sexy for your own good. Now your foul mouth has gone and got you in trouble."

She looks up at me with wide eyes as I sit her down in the passenger seat of my truck. "What are going to do with me now, Edward?" she asks feigning innocence.

"Anything I want. You're mine remember?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

_Yeah the day definitely wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. As a matter of fact, it's really starting to look up._

~_C~_

We pull up in front of my house and Bella's eyes go wide. "Edward... um I don't think we should be-"

"Shhh. It's okay, Bells. No one is home at this time of day. We have at least three hours to ourselves." I cut her off before she has a chance to really freak out.

She turns to face me with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Why are you bringing me to an empty house, E?"

"I told you that I was going to have my way with you. Do you want to wait until my parents are home? It's totally up to you." I wink at her before I get out and walk around the truck to open the door for her.

I open the door and chase her up the stairs to my room. When I get there the door is closed. I swing it open and find her laying on my bed. I've literally had this fantasy since I was 12 years old. I stop and stare down at her.

"Strip, Edward," she whispers.

I pull my shirt over my head. "Bella, I thought I told you that I was in charge." My jeans fall to the ground and I step out of them.

"Seriously? We both know I'm running this show," she says as I crawl towards her.

I lean down and press my lips to hers and feel her hand press against my chest. It takes me a minute to realize that she is pushing me away from her. When I look at her face I see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Edward? Is this all we are going to be? I mean we haven't even made our relationship official and here we are, getting naked again." She sits up and folds her legs underneath her.

"Bella. I'm so sorry if made you feel like that. I like being with you. In fact I love being with you and definitely love making love to you, with you, but that isn't the only thing I love. If I gave you that impression, than I am really, really sorry." I reach for my shirt but she pulls it away from me.

"I just needed to hear you say that." Her smile is so big that it makes me smile back at her. She sits up on her knees and pushes me onto my back. Once I fall backwards, she straddles me and takes her own shirt off.

The idea that Bella is here in my room, taking her clothes off, is causing my heart to beat faster. I can feel her thighs flex as she grinds against me. The moan that escapes me is embarrassing. She is so beautiful. I open the button fly of her jeans and she stands so I can pull them down her legs. Soon enough we are both naked and under the blankets. I'm in no hurry. I stare at her and trace my fingers over every inch of her skin that I can reach.

"Condom, E," Bella says against my lips when I kiss her.

Thank God my dad stocks my underwear drawer with condoms. I know he was always worried about Tanya and I moving too fast; I used to feel insulted that he didn't trust us to act responsibly. Now, when Bella takes it out of my hand and disappears under the covers, I want to give him a fucking thank you card.

I feel her fingers roll the condom onto me, and I feel her slide her body against mine as she makes her way back up to me. I grab her face and kiss her hard. I want her to know what she means to mean and pour all of my feelings into my kiss. In that moment I know for sure that I'm in love with Bella Swan.

* * *

><p>I have a few rec's... read 'em! lol!<p>

Between Dusk and the End of Summer by Maxipoo1024

Don't You Forget About Me by 107 year old virgin

Stigmata Tomato by BellaFlan

The Elusive Mr. Cullen by Daria Chenowith


	3. Green Eyes

Honey you are a rock upon which I stand

And I came here to talk, I hope you understand

The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you

And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load and it feels so much lighter now I met you

And honey you should know that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

**Green Eyes ~ Coldplay**

**BPOV**  
>My boy makes me so smiley. I swear to God there is nothing that can bring me down when he is with me. We walk through school amongst the stares and whispers and none of it matters. I feel Edward's arm around my shoulders, and his lips on my hair, and everything just fades away.<p>

"What are you thinking about, B?" he asks, twirling a piece of my hair around his finger.

"You. Us," I answer without even thinking.

"What about us?" He chuckles and looks down at me.  
>"Just how happy I am. How happy you make me." I turn and kiss him under his jaw.<p>

The past few weeks were a blur of happy for me. I wish I knew earlier that it could be like this. I never even had a chance to be sad about what happened with Tyler. There was no reason to. The situation gave me Edward, and I will never be sorry for that.

I realize, in the passing days, I'm in love. I've never felt like this before and it scares me a little.

I want to tell him how I feel. I want to tell him that I love him, but I'm scared—not that I don't mean it or that my feelings could change, just that I might scare him away. I don't know what I would do if he freaked out and left me.

I spend our entire English class doodling in my notebook. There are hearts and E's and B's. Every once in awhile my boy reaches over and draws something of his own our squeezes my thigh. I decide in that moment that I am going to jump in with both feet and tell him how I feel. I draw a picture of an eye, a heart, and the letter "u." I turn the notebook so it's facing him, and I hold my breath. Edward takes the notebook away from me and starts to write in it. I can't see what he's writing, and it drives me nuts.

Finally, he shows it to me just as the final bell of the day rings, and I can't help the smile that takes over my face. I look and see that he has drawn a heart, the letter "U", followed by the number two and I smile at him as I snatch the notebook back from his hands.

"Hush. You do not," I say, stuffing my things into my bag.

He doesn't say anything else, but he holds my hand tightly as we walk out to his truck. When we get there, he lifts me off my feet, and twirls me around. I'm caught totally off guard, and I can't help the squeal that bubbles up from my chest.

"I do love you, Bella Swan. Whether you want to hear it or not, it's the truth." He cradles my face in his hands and looks straight into my eyes. "I..." _kiss _"...love..." _kiss _"...you." _Who am I to argue?_

**~C~**

We've devised a schedule for the division of our after school time. We try and appease both mothers. Today we are hanging out with Renee. Edward gets excited when we go to my house because he knows there will be cookies, lots of cookies. Today is no exception. There is one difference today, though. All four of our parents are sitting in the living room when we walk in.

"Um, hey guys. What's going on?" Edward asks as he holds the door for me.

"Is everything okay?" I look between my mom and dad.

All four of the adults look back and forth at each other before anyone speaks, only adding to my anxiety. Finally, it seems as though Carlisle has been silently elected to speak first.

"Nothing is wrong. We just wanted to all be in the same room when we gave you these..." Both my dad and Carlisle hold what looks like mail in their hands. I look at Edward as I lean forward and take the ones in Charlie's hands. It is clear by the look on his face that he has no idea what is going on either.

When I see the return addresses I understand. _Colleges. Damn._I open the first letter and can't hold in the scream that erupts. I'm not even sure why I try.

"BROWN! I GOT IN TO BROWN UNIVERSITY!" I yell and jump up and down. There are congratulations and hugs all around, except from Edward. When I look at him, he looks shocked. I guess I understand it, he doesn't know me well enough anymore to know that Brown is my dream school.

"I'm really happy for you , Bella. I have to admit that I'm freaking out a little bit," he says.

"Why, babe? Do you doubt my mad smarts? I'm freakin' brilliant!" I hug him tight.

"I know you are, Bells. I just never thought of being so far away from you." He holds his envelope out to me and I feel bad because I didn't even see him open it.

_US motherfucking C. _California is definitely far away from to Rhode Island.

"Wow! Edward, USC is an amazing school. Congratulations, son." Charlie gives Edward one of those manly half hugs, and my mother gives me a look that says it's going to be okay.

"It is, baby. Totally amazing." I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight.

"Um, Bella? The Switzerland rule extends to the living room. No kissing in here," Charlie says. raising his eyebrow to emphasize his point.

"Dad, we aren't going to make out in front of you! We are both caught off guard and freaking out a little bit, here. Just give us a moment to process it all." I move to sit down on the floor and bring Edward with me.

The parents look back and forth at each other before again coming to some sort of silent agreement that Carlisle is the spokesperson for the group. "So, these letters actually bring great news. I know that you two may feel slightly torn at the moment, but I think you both will come to realize that it is indeed very good news. Your relationship is new, but that doesn't mean it is weak. If you make the effort, you can survive this and come out on the other side a perfectly happy pair of college graduates," he says looking at me and then at Edward.  
>"I think we both know how lucky we are and what great news this is." I look at Edward before I continue. "We are just surprised. We haven't talked about college yet, but we will."<p>

Edward and I have dinner with our parents before they let us loose, and we decide to go get some ice cream. I insist on it actually. We spend the ride in silence, occasionally catching the other staring. The truck pulls into a spot in front of the diner, and Edward is at my side before my seat belt is even off.

Once we are seated and have ordered a banana split to share, we just stare at each other. I feel his grasp on my hands get tighter before I decide to speak.

"So... SC, huh? That's really great, baby. I'm so proud of you," I say, trying my best to look happy.

"It's okay to be upset, Bella, I am. When I applied for school, the only thing on my mind was getting out of Forks. I never even dreamed that what happened between us could happen. I love you, baby, and I'm not really sure what we can do." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Well, right now we aren't going to do anything. We are going to eat ice cream and then hopefully make out a little bit at your place. We can save the college talk for tomorrow. Let's just be happy tonight. Deal?" I ask, brushing my fingers across his cheek.  
>"Okay, Bella, but just so you know I also applied to Harvard. I'm a legacy since both of my parents went there. There's a good chance that I'll get in there, too," he says, still trying hard to calm my frazzled nerves.<p>

"Good to know, love. Now feed me some of that ice cream before it melts," I say, leaning forward so that he can reach me. And that's just what he does.

I lie bed after Edward drops me off, and I finally let the tears fall. I'm scared of what will come, and I'm sad that I may have to let him go before we even get started. I want him in my life, there is no question about that, but I also know that I would never ask him to change his college plans for me. Being accepted to USC is a major accomplishment, and I really am proud of him. I hope he knows that.

**~C~**

**EPOV**  
>Damn. I forgot all about college since Bella came back into my life, and I totally forgot about applying to SC. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful and excited to be accepted to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, but damn. I wonder how many miles are between Brown and USC? All I can do is pray that I hear from Harvard soon. It's much, much closer to Brown.<p>

The next morning Bella and I take our acceptance letters into the guidance counselor and have our names added to the "Wall o' Fame". It's a wall with names of seniors pinned on the pennant of the school they have been accepted to. I will never admit it, but I could not wait to get my name up there. Bella hugs me as our picture is taken before we both accept congratulations from the entire office staff.

Our friends are full of questions and worried looks when we make our way into the cafeteria at lunch time. Angela is staring at Bella, and they are having a conversation I don't really understand. They are obviously talking in some sort of girl code. There is nodding and long pauses. Finally, there is a hug and they seem to be finished.

"So, Ang, I saw your name up on the wall. Harvard, huh?" I ask, trying to avoid the obvious tension.

"Of course, Eddie. Did you expect any less? I am a genius after all," Angela says before bursting into laughter. We all join her and it seems that Bella and I are off the hook for now.

The rest of lunch is light and full of laughter. I catch Bella staring at me a few times, but she just smiles and squeezes my hand tighter. I know that she is avoiding the conversation that needs to be had as much as I am, and I let it rest, for now.

I am on auto pilot as I walk Bella to class, and I'm caught off guard as a body hurls it self at me in the hallway.

"EDDIE! I SAW YOUR PICTURE ON THE WALL! USC! YOU REALLY DID IT!" Fucking Tanya has her arms around my neck and is screeching in my ear.

Bella and I both pry her hands from around me, and I think that my girl is going to slap the shit out of her.

"What the fuck, Tanya? Get the fuck off of him. Am I invisible or something?" Bella says through clenched teeth, her nails are digging into my fore arm, but I don't dare mention it.

"Excuse me, Isabella, but I know how exciting this must be for him. I was the one sitting next to him while he filled out his application. I was the one he called for help on his essay." Tanya's smirk is devious, and I know that she is just trying to hurt Bella.

"Really, babe? _You _called _her_for help?" Bella looks shocked as she turns to me.

"Well, yeah, if you call blow jobs helpful." I shrug.

Bella and Tanya both gasp at the same time. I turn to look at Bella and I see that she is pissed. I'm not quite sure why, but it doesn't look good. We stare at each other for a few seconds before Tanya turns and runs away from us. I watch her go and when I look back at my girl, I think I see tears in her eyes before she turns and walks away from me, too. _What the hell?_

I know I don't have time to chase her and that is killing me. I have to get to class, and I know that it will only make it worse if I stop her now. There is no way that I am going to let a conversation with Tanya take Bella from me. No way. Especially not an off handed comment about one of the billion blow jobs Tanya gave me.

After class, I haul ass and make it into Bella's path just as she walks through the door. "Bella!" I kind of yell at her to get her attention.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you. You have to know that," I say while she stands absolutely still, looking at the ground.

"Yeah, well you did. You hurt me, Edward, and you embarrassed me. I know in my head that you didn't mean it, but that doesn't change anything," she says finally looking me in the eye.

I reach out to pull her to me, and I take it as a good sign that she isn't fighting me. I hold her tightly and kiss her hair. I feel her sigh and relax against my chest.

"I won't let that skank break us up, Edward. You are mine. You belong with me and no stupid blow job is going to change that." Her beautiful brown eyes look up at me. "Just try to remember that I don't want to know about your past escapades with Tanya or anyone else."

"Never again, Bella. I'm so, so sorry. You have to know that I would never hurt you purposely. I love you, and I swear I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again." I look in her eyes and beg her to believe me. She has to believe me.

"I know that, Edward, but you did. And it sucked. Don't do it again." She's serious.

"I won't, love." I mean it and I hope that she knows that.

**~C~**

**BPOV**  
>Fucking Tanya. She really thought that she could just run up and throw herself at Edward while he was holding my hand. I thought I was going to slap the shit out of her, apparently Edward did too. He pushed her away as hard as I did, but he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. <em>Why would he mention a blow job... he got from Tanya... to me?<em>I mean, it isn't a secret that she spends a lot of time on her knees, but why would I want to hear about it? Edward is mine now, and I don't even like to think about what he did before me. He really hurt my feelings by mentioning it so casually, like he didn't even take my feelings into consideration.

I know that he didn't to do it to hurt me, but with all of the college drama, I was already feeling very vulnerable. His words just simply pushed me over the edge.  
>"Hey, Edward? Do you want to go somewhere with me?" I look up at him, and pray that he is up for skipping class.<p>

"Anywhere, baby. Where would you like to go?" He kisses my lips and waits patiently for my answer.

"Take me to the field. The one we used to play in when we were little. Do you remember it?" I ask.

"Your flower field? Where Renee used to take us so she could paint in peace?" He chuckles and it makes me so happy that he remembers it.

"That's the one. Let's go!" I grab his hand and run towards the parking lot. I need out of this place.

Once we are buckled into the truck, I take a deep breath and ground myself. I smell Edward mixed with me, and I know that there isn't anything that could really ever take us apart. I know that he is meant to be with me and I feel sort of silly for my reaction to his words earlier.

"I'm really sorry for getting so mad at you earlier, babe. I was just caught off guard. Forgive me?" I take his hand and kiss his knuckles.  
>"Forgive you for what? I'm the one that fucked up, Bella. There's nothing to forgive." His smile is sad and it breaks my heart a little. I don't want to dwell on this or make him think that it is a bigger deal than it actually is. I'm glad that he understands that he hurt me and that he is remorseful. I just want it to be over now. I don't want to waste anymore energy on Tanya, or anyone else that is trying to hurt us.<p>

We come to a stop on the side of the road and make our way to the secret place on foot. Edward holds my hand and leads the way. When we reach the clearing, it is just as I remember it and it takes my breath away.

Edward pulls me down with him as he falls into the grass. I hover over him and can not help but smile. His eyes are the color of the grass, and I feel myself getting lost in them. I lean forward and kiss his lips. It is soft and full of love.

Tears form behind my eyelids and I'm not sure why. Edward cradles my face as the first tears make there way onto his skin. "Bella, what's wrong?" He looks scared and it makes me cry even harder.

I sit back and try to calm my breathing. Finally, when I feel like I can't take it anymore, I throw myself into his lap and bury my face in the crook of his neck. "I'm scared, Edward. What are we going to do?"  
>"About what, Bella? What are you scared of, baby?" He rubs soothing circles on my back and holds me close.<p>

"I'm scared of what's going to happen after graduation: you going to California and me going far away from California. Aren't you scared?" I move to straddle his lap and look into his eyes. He has a smirk on his face but when he wipes away my tears, his tenderness contradicts it.

"I'm not scared, Bella. I love you and I know that you love me. What do I have to worry about? Distance? Crazy L.A. traffic? I only worry that you will meet people and realize that I'm not good enough for you. I pray that we will be okay, and I trust you with my heart. That's all I can do, babe. What else is there for us to do?" He kisses my nose as he pulls me closer and our bodies connect in the most delicious way.

I moan the loudest, most inappropriate moan I've ever moaned and capture his mouth with my own. I kiss him hard and fast and hold him as tightly as I can. I want to crawl into his skin; I want him to consume me. I feel like we are part of the same heart, and I don't want to inhabit separate bodies anymore. I want him with me always and the thought that soon he won't be, threatens to rip my heart out. How will I live without him? How will I breath without him?

"Don't let me go, Edward. Promise me that this isn't going to end. Please, I need to hear the words," I whisper against his lips.

"I wouldn't even know how to begin to live with out you, Bella. I will never, ever let you go. Never doubt that I need you. You are my heartbeat and my air. We'll figure it out. I promise you that we are going to be okay." He pulls my hips closer to his, creating the sweetest friction.

We are fully clothed, yet this feels like the most intimate moment we have ever shared. My fingers find his hair, and he continues to push and pull my hips. I am panting and moaning and fell like my entire body is on fire. The field around us is silent and the air is warm. Edward's scent and the wildflowers mingle together to create the most intoxicating perfume. I am in sensory overload and before I can reign it in, I explode.

I see stars and I grab Edward in a death grip. "Oh my God, Bella. You are so fucking sexy. You have no idea how beautiful you look right now."

I try to catch my breath. His fingers are tracing patterns on my spine under my shirt and it feels amazing. My body quivers with after shocks, and I can still feel him hard beneath me. I push him backwards and giggle at the shocked look on his face.

"Ever had sex in a field of flowers, Edward?" I ask and wiggle my eyebrows at him.

"Not this one!" He laughs and then grunts as I smack his chest.

"Edward! I'm trying to be sexy and irresistible!" I pout down at him.

"Oh, baby girl, you are more sexy and irresistible than you know." He pulls me down to kiss him again.

I feel his fingers fumbling around with the button of my shorts, and I move to unbuckle his belt. I feel him smile against my lips and I know that he is totally into this. I stand up and strip out of my shorts and panties. I hear him take a breath, and I smile at him before I work his jeans off of him, too.

"Get the condom out of my wallet, Bella . Hurry baby, I need you." I pull the foil packet out of his wallet and rip into it with my teeth. I laugh as Edward lifts his hips and slides his jeans under his ass.

"What? I don't want grass stains on my ass cheeks." He laughs and it is the most beautiful sound I have heard all day.

I straddle his legs and slowly roll the condom down his length. I watch his face as he writhes under me. "I'm not sure that is even possible, but better safe than sorry I guess."

I balance myself on my knees over him before slowly sliding down his cock. I'm so wet, I'm almost embarrassed. He got me so worked up though I'm sure he won't be complaining.  
>"Oh my God, Bella. You feel so good. This is the happiest place on earth." His voice is so quiet, I'm not sure I'm meant to hear him.<p>

"What's your happy place, baby? The field or my pussy?" I pant as my movements speed up with his help. His hands are back on my hips again setting the pace that he needs.

"It's you... your body... your heart. All of you, I need it all." His movements become frantic, and I know that he won't last much longer. I move his hand from my hip and place it at my center. He knows exactly what I want and soon enough, I am falling apart again. This time I take him with me.

I fall forward onto his chest, pulling air into my lungs as deeply as it will go. It takes a few minutes before either one of us can speak. Just as my eyes begin to close, I hear his voice in my ear.

"You have a dirty mouth, beautiful. What was that all about?" He smirks at me. I try to hid my face, but he pries my hands off of it. "No way! You just fucked me in a field and talked dirty to me, no use in hiding your face now."

"Edward! Don't say it like that! It felt right when I was in the moment, but it was still love. It didn't feel like fucking to me," I say, mumbling the _f_word.

"You're amazing, Isabella Swan, amazing and beautiful. I'm so lucky to have you, and I am going to do everything in my power to keep you for as long as you will have me. I promise we will be okay, love. Do you trust me?" He looks at me with his grass green eyes and my heart beat speeds up.

"I do, Edward, with all of my heart." It's the truth and in that perfect moment, on that perfect day, I believe every word he said.

**~Carousel~**

**A/N: This was originally written for Fandom Gives Back 2011. Thank you all for contributing to this very important cause. You will be providing more help and hope than you can possibly know. ****Thank you to Jaime Arkin for the beautiful banner on such a short notice. I adore you and I am so grateful for your never ending support. ****Thank you to Maxipoo1024, my beta extraordinaire. You asked for some Carousel, and I could not deny you because I love you so.**


	4. Today

I sat beside you and became myself, today.

**Today - Joshua Radin**

**EPOV**  
>The day my letter from Harvard finally arrives, I feel like we've been waiting forever. My parents are out of town, and Bella is sleeping in my bed. I crawl out from beneath her warmth and run out to meet the mailman.<p>

"Good morning, Frank. How are you?"

"I'm just fine, Edward. It's good to see you, son." He hands me our mail before tipping his hat and driving away.

I sort through the envelopes once I make my way back inside and find the Harvard stationary at the bottom of the pile. The envelope is larger than an ordinary letter but not as big as I expect it to be and a sense of dread falls over me. My acceptance from SC came in a huge manila package. This can't be good.

_"Dear Mr. Edward A. Cullen,_  
><em>I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions and Financial Aid has voted to offer you a place in the Harvard class of 2016. Following an old Harvard tradition, a certificate of admissions is enclosed. Please accept my personal congratulations for your outstanding achievements..."<em>

That's all I need to see before I am running back into my house and taking the stairs two at a time.

"BELLA! BELLA, WAKE UP! I'M IN, BABY!" I run into my room and jump on my bed.

"What the hell, Edward? What are you screaming about?" Her face is angry, but it's hard to take her seriously when she is all sleep rumpled and bleary eyed.

I pull the acceptance certificate out of the envelope and show it to her. "I'm going to Harvard! I got in! We're going east together!" I let myself fall down on top of her, and she giggles as I scatter kisses across her face.

"Edward! Stop it!" She is giggling and trying to push me off of her, though her effort is seriously lacking.

"Don't tell me to stop, babe. I don't think I can! I'm so happy. Aren't you happy?" I give her my best pouty face, the one she can't resist.

"Of course I'm happy." Her eyes tell a different story. "Are you sure you're going to be okay with giving up SC to go to Harvard? It's California, Edward."

"Are you going to be in California, Bells?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"No, I'm going to be in Rhode Island at Brown." She doesn't look at me when she talks and it makes me want to kiss her again.

"Then I don't want to be in California. SC is 2600 miles away from Brown, Bella. You know how far Harvard is from Brown?" I don't wait for her to answer. "Forty miles, forty. That means it will take me less than an hour to get to you. We'll be able to see each other every day, Bella. Don't you want that?"

When she looks at me, her eyes are shiny and her smile almost breaks my heart. "Yes, I want that! We'll only be forty miles apart? Really?" Now she is the one kissing my face.

"Yup. You can Google it! I did." I laugh and squeeze her to me.

"Is this really happening? Are we going to get everything we want right now?" Her smile is blinding and her eyes shine with tears again.

"Looks that way, baby. I am so unbelievably happy. Who should we tell first? Carlisle is going to flip his shit, but Charlie is going to be really happy you won't be all the way across the country all alone."

"Can we just keep it to ourselves for a little while? I want to lay here and love you and love the idea of spending the next four years so close to you." She asks me as if I can deny her anything. The kiss she gives is sweet and holds the promise of more.

So I give her what she wants because let's be honest all I want in this moment is my girl. I can feel her heartbeat when I kiss the soft skin between her breasts, and the sound she makes as her fingers curl in my hair is what my dreams are made of.

I feel her fingers in my hair and her breath against my neck. Sometimes I still can't believe that she is mine, that she wants me like this. So much has happened since our fateful Prom night. There is no doubt we are where we are meant to be or that I love her with all of my heart. I can't imagine how I lived without her, how I ever thought I was happy before her. My Bella is the window to my entire universe. There is nothing in my sky without her, and I tell her just that as I slip slowly inside her.

There is no feeling like this in the world, holding her to me, no sign of where she stops and where I begin.

I hold my breath as she whispers my name, knowing that she is feeling exactly what I am. Her arms pull my face down to hers, and she begs me to kiss her. I do, hungrily... greedily. I know there is no way I will last much longer. I'm on sensory overload. I slide my hand between us and tease her with my fingertips. Her breathing picks up and dirty words fall from her beautiful lips. I do every single thing that she asks for: faster, harder, more. I give her all of me and I watch her fall apart beneath me. Best moment of the day, Harvard acceptance included.

**BPOV**  
>He is amazing. Edward is actually incredible. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but somehow I did. The thought of getting to leave Forks for the East Coast with him by my side makes me happier than I think it should. I had been prepared to go alone, and settle in 3000 miles away from him. Thank God that isn't going to happen. Again, how am I so lucky?<p>

I watch him sleep next to me, knowing his parents will soon be home to burst our little bubble. Not that it is a bad thing because they are going to be so excited to hear his news. Who wouldn't be happy about their kid getting into Harvard? Harvard. Have I mentioned that he is amazing? Spectacular might be a better word.

"What are you thinking so hard about, beautiful? I think I can actually hear the wheels turning in that pretty head of yours," he asks without opening his eyes.

"How do you even know I'm awake? You wore me out earlier, stud." I snuggle closer to him and kiss across his collarbone.

A sly smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "I can tell by you the way you're breathing. I know what you sound like when you sleep."

"Creepy much, Eddie? You know what I sound like when I sleep?" I can't hold in my loud laughter when he starts to tickle my sides.

"Knock it off! I'm gonna pee my pants!" I try to pull away from him, though I don't try very hard. Eventually I pull free and straddle his hips. "Aww… this is better." I rock my hips over him and watch his eyes close.

"Damn, Bella. I thought you said I wore you out," he says through gritted teeth. I love that I can do this to him, that he wants me this much.

His hands go to my hips and guide me the way he way wants me. I swivel as he thrusts and eventually I work my way down his body until I can reach him with my mouth. I hear his breath hitch, and it makes me smile. It isn't often that I do this for him, but he's giving up California for me. I love the shit out of him right now.

"Bella, my parents are going to be here any minute." His voice is barely a whisper.

"I know," I say before gently licking his right thigh. "Quiet down so I can get to work." When I smirk up at him he flops down and covers his eyes.

He does and I do. The sounds he makes gets me so worked up I beg him to touch me before he comes. He smirks down at me before dragging me up to my hands and knees and taking me hard from behind. The feeling of his weight on me and his fingers digging into my hips is too much, and I scream his name as bright lights flash behind my eyelids.

"Holy shit, girl. I think my heart just exploded! What are you doing to me, with this sudden unquenchable desire for my cock?"

His lips are still on the back of my neck, and I can feel him smile against my skin."That's a little exaggerated, don't you think?" I flop down on my belly and giggle at his words.

"Did you just beg, Bella?" he slides off of me and throws his arm across my back.

"Yes," I whisper.

"Then no, it wasn't an exaggeration." We both laugh and he pulls me closer to him as he turns over to his back.

We both get up and wash up, trying to make ourselves presentable for his parents' arrival, but to our surprise there is a message waiting on Edward's voicemail saying that they are running later than they thought and they won't be home until later this evening.  
>To Edward, this means that we have more time to spend naked but I have other ideas.<p>

"Let's make them dinner and bake some Harvard cookies to tell them your big news." I am giddy and kind of bouncing around the kitchen while he makes coffee.

"You mean_ you_ want to cook and bake because you know I can't do either of those things. And I also didn't know that Harvard had their own special cookies. How did you know that?" His face is serious, so I know the ridiculous question isn't meant to be funny.

I laugh so loudly I have to stop and catch my breath before I can answer him. "I just meant that we could bake cookies and decorate them in a way that would celebrate your new school. I don't think that Harvard has their own cookies, babe."

He tosses me onto the sofa and attacks me with kisses. We lay there for a bit, touching and trying to agree on a menu for tonight. I finally decide on making my famous fried chicken and mashed potatoes to go along with the cookies.

I set Edward up in the kitchen with the ingredients of the cookie dough while I run to the store for chicken, potatoes and food coloring to make the cookie frosting crimson red. This is going to be so fun.

Edward and I spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. Once I have all of the dinner food ready, we get to work on the cookies. Needless to say we end up covered in flour and sticky with dough. There is kissing and at one point he even licks the sweet mixture off of my cheek. It's a perfect moment, and I'm even more thankful Edward is going to college with me.

**~Carousel~**

Dinner is a hit. Carlisle and Esme both compliment me repeatedly as we eat. The few times I look at Edward, he is so engrossed in his meal that he doesn't even notice my gaze. I can feel the nervous energy radiating off of Edward, and I wish he would just calm down. We had talked about every possible scenario that could play out after he told them his news; there isn't any possible way that this could go badly.

Finally, when everyone has had their fill, Edward and I begin to clear the table. Once we're alone in the kitchen, we set our plan into motion.

"I can't wait to take this tray out to the table, babe. They are going to flip their shit." He whisper yells at me as he grabs my hands and dances me around the kitchen.

"Edward, you have to calm down or you are going to ruin the surprise. I'm going to arrange these cookies on the tray. You grab the coffee and the mugs." Now I'm whispering.

He does as I ask and walks back into the dining room while I arrange our cookie creations around his Harvard acceptance certificate on the tray. When I'm satisfied that everything is perfect, I make my way into the dining room as well. I set the platter on the table, step back, and wait for their reaction.

"Wow, Bella! You made dessert, too? You didn't have to do that," Esme exclaims as she reached for the coffee.

"Son! What is this? Is it real?" Carlisle is on his feet with the certificate in his hand, his cookie long forgotten.

"Carlisle, what is it? Is it really necessary for you to shout?" Esme does not look amused as she passes a cup of coffee out to each of us.

When she comes to stand next to her husband, the mug she is holding falls out of her hand. "Edward! Is this real?!"

"It's real, Mom. I got into Harvard!" He laughs as they both wrap their arms around him in some sappy Cullen group hug. Truth be told, I get a little teary at the sight. I decide to  
>give them some privacy. "I'm just gonna head out. Call me later, Edward."<p>

"Isabella Swan, you get back over here and let us hug you! This is a celebration. My two babies are going to college!" Esme is laughing and crying at the same time, holding her arms out for me to step into. And I do.

After we are all hugged out, Carlisle pulls out a bottle of champagne that " he has been saving for a special occasion" and we toast to the future. Our future, a future that excites me beyond words. A future that up until now has only been a dream.

I think of how lucky we are to have each other because our lives could have gone such a different way. I thank God for all of the missteps and mishaps- no matter how embarrassing they were- because it took every single one of them to bring us to where we are today.

I like to think that somehow I always knew that I would end up with Edward, that we were meant to be. I know I will love him for the rest of my life, and as he looks at me across his parent's dining room table, I know he feels the same way. I can feel his heart, I can feel his love.

And when I sit beside him, I become myself, today.

**A/N: **This was originally written for the Stand Up For Katalina compilation, many thanks to everyone who contributed to this very worthy cause. It is definitely the closest to my heart. To those of you that are fighting for your lives, or holding the hand of a loved one who is fighting for their lives, never give up. You are in my prayers.

**Dedication: **This story is dedicated to my best friend, Joshua Robinson, who I lost to cancer almost ten years ago. His light still guides me through each day.


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